Shower thoughts, Metaphysics, and Forgiveness + Introduction to my Bullet Note Log // Bullet Notes [27JAN24]
I introduce myself, cover how this will work, and drop some of today’s research and thoughts.
Today’s Summary.
Introduction stuff about who I am and what this is all about.
Shower thought about Metaphysics.
Note-taking and Writing. The Memex Method
Theology. Reflections on Forgiveness.
Hello World
It’s been a minute since I’ve made an appearance on Substack.
Yeah…it’s been…a doozy since we last met. But when ain’t it? That’s life now for everyone, I think.
Anyhow-
I am just practicing in public — so don’t mind me. I am going to try and frequently publish — daily is the goal, but my energy levels will dictate this.
What’s that about energy levels?
I am working on getting myself right and straightened out right now.
I went through a rough (for me, at least) breakup. The “public health crisis” and ensuing lockdown did a number on my mental well-being, resulting in a series of breakdowns and increasingly toxic behavior on my part as a result, which I am working on diligently healing in myself at this moment through Vedic and Western Psychology, journaling, and spiritual development through mystical practice.
Life’s dandy. But there is hope, despite it all.
Who am I, and what am I about?
I am a restaurant worker and a curious person, I guess.
I’ve done a pretty wide variety of things in the past.
To be honest, I am kind of tired of doing the Uncle Rico thing and reliving the glory days and bringing up all the same old shit over and over. I’ve chased adventure my whole life because I watched a lot of movies, read a lot of books, and played a lot of video games. Had a lot of fun with friends. Lived in interesting places, and known interesting people. I’ve been blessed with access to a lot of really great teachers and had rich experiences as a kid.
Also, a shitload of traumas surrounding the nature of why we had access to such great benefits. Cultural traumas. Generational traumas. Systemic traumas. Stuff that is difficult to discuss because most people are ignorant of these things. Through no fault of their own. This is just the nature of the system we all exist in.
So what’s this about?
I am “climbing the Holy Mountain”, I suppose. Trying to reach my zenith. Me me me. Ego. Hi there. I need to work on that. So — free-form note-taking and publication of the stuff I am working on and researching. Working with the garage open. Philosophizing with a hammer. Or doodling. Or just sharing useful how-to primers and zines for your edumacational book-learnin’s.
To that end…
Today’s Bullets
1 — Science and Synchronicities [Metaphysics / Shower Thought]
Is there any chance that identifying the synchronicities in science and metaphysics could paint a bigger picture ripe for exploration?
Shadows on the walls of Plato’s cave and all.
2 — The Memex Method: The Inspiration Behind This Little Bullet Note-Dump Blog Idea.
Cory Doctorow’s Linkdump Blog kicks ass and I have been fascinated with his insane output level, revolutionary philosophy, and the “Memex” concept behind his Linkdump blog.
https://doctorow.medium.com/the-memex-method-238c71f2fb46
Tactics
Check Feeds + Social Mentions. Set out fragmentary tabs of interest. Blog about relevant items. Why is this important? Relevant? Describe what it adds to the picture.
Over time, ideas from blogging will nucleate as work and analysis build on top of each other. You’ll get wholesale work pre-written and needing editing. Essays, speeches, stories, novels.
RESEARCH: An Inverse method. Traditionally, a writer identifies a subject that interests them and then writes about it.
DOCTOROW’S APPROACH. The writer blogs about everything that seems interesting, until a subject gels out of all of those disparate, short pieces
MY APPROACH: This will essentially be the Doctorow approach. A blog to learn. I’ve collected years of notes, so I will go through the various media resources that I collect to learn new skills, as well as reinforce and share my previous years of learning through my life in university, the military, the entertainment industry, the marketing industry, the world of intelligence, and my various travels.
3 — On Forgiveness [Theology Note]
What I read today:
Genesis 42:29–43:34, Hebrews 5:11–7:28, Ecclesiastes 10:10–20
CEB, LEB, NRSV
Today’s Reflection
Whom do you currently desire to see hurt? How can you let that feeling go? How can God help you release the situation to Him?
In the course of certain events in my life, I have not acted my best at times. The thing that allows me to forgive myself is knowing that I’ve always held good faith in my heart.
Faith proper has alluded me itself. I’ve largely derided it not just as silly — but in a strange sort of inverted logic — a vice.
But still the same, I held onto a belief that I was good. Funny, considering my skepticism of belief in anything objective these days.
Reality is topsy-turvy now. The American media environment is hell. The average American has no idea what goes outside the walls of our society. I am deeply jaded due to my experiences in another era of life when I was in the military.
I know how the sausage is made, so I am deeply frustrated at some of the common illusions I see held by many that experience has taught me are as real as the animatronics at Chuck-e-Cheese.
This outlook has not served me well.
While I will never deny that this perspective is — in my cold and analytical estimation — true…it is not the whole truth either. Because suffering has always been true. And ignorance. And human imperfection.
It’s this human imperfection I must forgive.
I am deeply resentful of the willful hurt that others who were people I believed were supposed to love me engaged in. But this is not reality. I am not owed love by anyone other than my parents. Just like I owe my son every ounce of love I owe him.
And the same is true of his mother, though in a very different manner of speaking. We may not be together anymore, but we are still our Child’s parents. Right? So I owe her every ounce of love that this fact obligates me. I do that by surrendering to her happiness, and that is my absence.
I don’t always feel great about how we interact, though. I get angry. Old delusions about what we were are now melting away. My idealism and ego melt away to reveal ugly reality. Full of suffering. Verbal Violence. Cruelty. Anger. Manipulation. Unfaithfulness in word and action. Ignorance.
I am weak in faith. I am soul-dead. Was… I should probably say by this point.
I admitted it freely to a co-worker in conversation. I called myself by my true name. Literal and in the “tribe” my name insinuates.
All it took was a few hours of really reading scripture and drinking it in to understand it.
I am weak in faith. I am as He made me, right? I exist as I do. All things, inherent in Him, right?
Look — I am just following the thought process here. I'm trying to…put myself in your headspace, so to speak.
Spirit of wisdom, living in you, by the grace of His breath.
Thanks for bringing me home.
Be patient with me (Lord).
4 - This Song Slaps.
Topics
[Theology/Metaphysics/Journaling/Note-taking/Writing]